Ace Ventura Quotes from Your Favorite Pet Detective

These Ace Ventura quotes will make you laugh all over again.

Ace Ventura, played by actor Jim Carrey, is the star of the 1994 and 1995 comedy films: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. The first film follows Detective Ventura on his mission to find the missing Miami Dolphins mascot.

This detective is full of gut-busting one-liners and plenty of sarcasm. His quick wit and sometimes vulgar anecdotes have left viewers in tears of laughter for years. The films are not so much about great storytelling and far more about making you laugh. It’s so stupid, you can’t help but laugh at times.

Here are some of the most memorable Ave Ventura quotes.

Don’t forget to also check out these Jim Carrey quotes on life, money, and success.

Your Favorite Detective Ace Ventura Quotes

1. “If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura

2. “Lovely party. Pity I wasn’t invited.” – Ace Ventura

3. “I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers!” – Ace Ventura

4. “It’s ALIVE. IT’S ALIVE.” – Ace Ventura

5. “That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately, in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo-ser-her.” – Ace Ventura

6. “Yes, Satan? Oh, I’m sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else.” – Ace Ventura

7. “Excuse me. I’d like to “ass” you a few questions.” – Ace Ventura

Ace Ventura quotes from his best expressions and clapbacks

8. “Holy shitballs.” – Ace Ventura

9. “That’s none of your damn business and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.” – Ace Ventura

10. “Oh yeah? And you’re ugly.” – Ace Ventura

11. “Nonsense, Poopy-Pants!” – Ace Ventura

12. “Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number’s still 911?” – Ace Ventura

13. “Holy testicle Tuesday.” – Ace Ventura

14. “Aaall righty, then.” – Ace Ventura

15. “Spank you, Helpy Helperton.” – Ace Ventura

16. “I want to fight…Go to hell!” – Ace Ventura

17. “Of course…how selfish of me. Let’s do all the things you want to do.” – Ace Ventura

Ace Ventura Quotes and lines to Make You Chuckle

18. “Hmmm, unconscious. Exactly as I planned.” – Ace Ventura

19. “Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.” – Ace Ventura

20. “Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.” – Ace Ventura

21. “Yes, a workaholic; the urine stain on your pants would signify that you’re a single shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.” – Ace Ventura

22. “No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.” – Ace Ventura

23. “A pleasure to meet you Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific.” – Ace Ventura

24. “Hi, I’m looking for Ray Finkle [gun cocked to his head]… and a clean pair of shorts.” – Ace Ventura

Classic Ace Ventura movie quotes

25. “Gee, Chuck, the date started out good. Just before we got to the party she seemed to tense up.” – Ace Ventura

26. “Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca?” – Ace Ventura

27. “Excuse me, gentleman. Pet Detective. Come on, what’s the matter with you? Can’t you hit me? Obsess much?” – Ace Ventura

28. “Goodnight, everybody! You’ve been a wonderful audience! I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.” – Ace Ventura

29. “Annnnnnnd you must be… the Monopoly Guy! Hey, thanks for the free parking!” – Ace Ventura

30. “I have to have money to buy food. I have to have a dolphin to get the money. I don’t see a dolphin around here, do you?” – Ace Ventura

31. “Yes, yes, oh yes! Can you feel that buddy? I have exorcised the demons. This house is clean.” – Ace Ventura

32. “I am a trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me. For seven years I have trained the dolphin. Why do you want to talk to the dolphin?” – Ace Ventura

33. “Whew… now I feel better. ‘Course, that might not do any good; you see nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken.” – Ace Ventura

34. “Well, a reward would be nice. I sustained some damage to my vehicle. Had to fill it with premium.” – Ace Ventura

More Ace Ventura quotes and lines

35. “Receipts, what about receipts? There’s gotta be receipts.” – Ace Ventura

36. “Come to me jungle friends.” – Ace Ventura

37. “Now, kiss and make up.” – Ace Ventura

38. “Of course not. This is a lovely room of death. Take care now, bye-bye then.” – Ace Ventura

39. “Once you get inside my head, there’s no turning back baby.” – Ace Ventura

40. “Hmm-mmm. I don’t smoke. It’s a disgusting habit.” – Ace Ventura

41. “I’m ready to go in coach!” – Ace Ventura

42. “You don’t have to tell me. I was there.” – Ace Ventura

43. “If I’d been drinking out of the toilet, I might’ve been killed!” – Ace Ventura

44. “Do not pass GO! Do not collect 200 dollars.” – Ace Ventura

Even More Ace Ventura Quotes

45. “I just can’t do it captain, I DON’T HAVE THE POWER!” – Ace Ventura

46. “Say hello to my stinky little friend!” – Ace Ventura

47. “I’ve got a snack for you.” – Ace Ventura

48. “Ahhhh! Nobody wants to play with me!” – Ace Ventura

49. “I’ll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I dare you!” – Ace Ventura

50. “Repent! And thou shall be saved.” – Ace Ventura

51. “Pride is an abomination. One must forego the self to obtain total spiritual creaminess and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation.” – Ace Ventura

Are you digging up your copy of the film yet?

This timeless Jim Carrey classic character will always be funny and surely bring a spark of joy to your next movie night. Even when you think you’ve outgrown the humor, there’s just something that makes you crack a smile as you watch.

Whether it’s your first time or 50th time hearing these Ace Ventura quotes, we hope they put a smile on your face. Maybe you’ll even incorporate a few of his catchphrases into your own vocabulary… Just be careful who you’re talking to!

So, what are your favorite Ace Ventura quotes and sayings? Let us know in the comment section below.

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